all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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