help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
