I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
