Ambien. No doubt about it.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
