k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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