the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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