put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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