I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
