we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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