New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
