This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
