Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
