what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
