i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
