im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
