nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
