I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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