we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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