You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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