That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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