I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
