I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i came on her dog
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
