I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
