Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
