I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
