I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
