I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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