spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Drunk is not a location!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
