We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
