Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
