Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
