She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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