12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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