my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
