I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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