Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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