I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
