I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
