theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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