Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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