I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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