I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
