Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
