found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
