i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just puked most of my soul out..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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