yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
