He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
