Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
