ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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