I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
