If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
