i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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