they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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