...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
